Post Birthday Post!

It's August already!! I can't believe July is over. :(

 It’s been a good 6 days since my birthday but I haven’t been able to share to you what happened. What happened during my birthday? Nothing blog-worthy, per se. I went to school, went to mass and we had Shakey’s deliver pizza home cause everyone was tired. This was probably the chill-est birthday I had, and yet in terms of realizations, I had a lot that day. Let me share some:

1)      I am loved. I am loved and I deserve it.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m always the friend who loves more. I really go extra lengths to show the people I love how much I care. It’s also true though, that I feel bad when no one treats me as royally and as loyally as I treat them. But I thought, just because they don’t treat me the way I want them to, it doesn’t mean that they love me less. At the same time, just because I don’t show people I love them the way they want to be loved, doesn’t mean I love them less.

2)      Happiness is a choice, YOUR choice.

Related to number 1, I usually feel bad when circumstances (or even people) don’t live up to how I expect them to turn out. I expect too much and end up hurt. The funny thing is, people don’t know what I expected of them and to begin with, I wasn’t even in a position to demand. The pressure people put on birthday. So for my birthday, I didn’t expect anything and in the end, I found a lot of things to be thankful for.

Little things, like a greet and a nice conversation with the taxi driver of the Black Taxi (first time to ride! He also let me pay 50 instead of 60 cause he didn’t have change) made my day. I wasn’t expecting gifts, but I got a beautiful bag and a book from Mimi and Jun. 

I got little gifts from Mel.

 I also got 2 birthday cakes from Mimi & Jun and Mel—red velvet and rocky road. I ate a few bites and my mom and sisters gobbled both up. They were cake slices though, not whole cakes and it’s too bad I wasn’t able to get a photo of either. 

I wasn’t expecting an avalanche of texts, now being the Facebook era, but I got a lot. I didn’t even expect to get long messages (apart from the ones that simply read “Happy birthday”) but I got those, and from my guy friends, no less! Thank you Aidx, JD and Allan. =) Aidx was supposed to give me a cupcake with a candle but we weren’t able to meet, but the thought counts, right? Knowing some of them are not naturally expressive, it makes me teary-eyed to even think about even getting heartfelt messages from my guy friends. 

I got a crazy GIF from Christia, my partner-in-crime back in UP. As usual, she was pa-star and sent her greet in late, under the guise of some important e-mail.

I got to talk to my lolo, who is in the States. I rarely get to talk to him cause whenever my lola calls us up, he’s at work. I cry after I talk to him cause his voice is full of love. He also talks to me as he did when I was 8 but it’s one of those comforting things, you know? It’s that feeling that even if you know you’ve changed a whole lot, there’s still something that takes you back to the old you.

 I got a greet from my best friend Ariella who is in New Zealand. (Yoni's excused cause she naturally forgets =)) ) I remember a time when we fought in high school (I forgot what about) and we made up on my birthday. I remember feeling alone and incomplete at the time. 

I got greets from my friends—Mithi, Cindel, Heidi and Julienne, Lea, Dex, Lian. When we were younger, we’d have surprises and gifts and shiznits for each other but now we’re older, it’s the thought that counts. They’ve proven to me that they’ll be there thick and thin.

 I also had lunch with my sister Timmy. Among the siblings, she and I fight the most. But despite everything, she’s one who will really stand by you.

A birthday wouldn't be complete without a hug from a friend. I'm glad I got one from Marion aka forestdoll :) Thanks gurlaloo =))

3)      Lastly, I realized how much I’ve changed over the past year.

I went to church last year at Sta. Ana for my birthday last year. I was in a bad place then. When I went this time around, I cried (again) when I realized how blessed and loved I was and how I failed to see it. I mean, there are times I complain a lot and I thought, how can I complain when He’s given me so much? It’s true that when we look at what we have missing, we’ll see a lot but when we look at what we have, we’d be astounded! I also cried when the choir started singing. They were elementary school children and their voices were full of innocence, purity and I really felt that they enjoyed what they were doing.

I already said this in Twitter, but the Farrah that went to Sta. Ana then and now are different people. I can’t exactly pinpoint where but probably this one’s more at peace with herself. I think, slowly, I can and I’ve forgiven myself.

Thank you also to everyone who greeted, texted, tweeted, etc. I super appreciated them too :>

Happy August first pala Heidi, J6, Jane and Mit. ;)