Here's to a "holiday" that's been the bane of my existence throughout my tumultuous, hormone-charged teen years. Here's to a day that's caused me tears (both of joy, but usually of envy and self-pity :( ) but gave me smiles and memories worth remembering too (especially during my days in UP :) ). Here's to a day I've finally come to terms with now that I'm older, "wiser" and definitely more accepting of myself.
I admit that yes, I'm a hopeless hopeless romantic and even though I try to appear nonchalant, I can't help but feel giddy and gush over the littlest things, but that changes changed as Valentine's Day draws near. Right now though, I feel different. I feel secure in myself now, somehow. I credit that to love. Wait, what? Love? It seems weirdly twisted that love cured me of the pain(?) I felt caused by the day made for love. Yeah, but a different love. Self-love.
I always thought that it was enough that you accepted yourself, but I learnt that that was just the first step. There are times I do struggle with that step (who doesn't? Insecurity just bites you in the ass sometimes) but I realized that loving yourself isn't just a destination you get to, it's a journey, as cliche as that sounds. You have to work at it everyday. I learned in my Philo class that loving is doing and if you love something, you have to give effort to it and keep working at it. Why do you think some relationships crumble? People lose time for others. I've always believed that if you love someone (or something), you'd make time for them. If you love yourself, make time for yourself.
So right now, I'm working on bettering myself. I've found the right inspiration to go to the gym--I love me so I have to take care of me. I used to go for the wrong reasons--to be thin, to be pretty, to finally maybe be loved and wanted by a guy cause I was the former two. Now my gym time's my personal time--no school work or other outside distractions. My classmates marvel at the fact that I have the luxury to take a couple of hours thrice a week which could've been used to study but I need that time to myself or else I'd go batshit crazy. I need to sweat that stress out! :))
I definitely feel more comfortable in my own skin now more than ever than I was before. Just yesterday, I wore a crazy (not really crazy; I wore boots. I'll post that outfit soon!) outfit to school and I got some admiring glances but I also got my share of once-overs as well but I thought, to hell with that. I'll wear what I wanna wear. I feel like a lot of people want to do the same--wear an all-out bonggaoutfit--but are afraid of being stared or looked at weird. Let me tell you this, you owe no one an explanation and you owe it to yourself to try. Sure, they'd be subjected to the sight of you but who's the one walking around in an outfit that makes them look stupid? (hahaha kidding) I mean, if someone says something disparaging about you (or your outfit), just brush it off and say "Better me than you, right?" =) People are so afraid of what other people think and there are times it can be justifiably so, but you can't let someone's opinion of you rule your life. Remember, YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS.
denim vest: Cotton On || tank top: Forever 21 || snapback: Human || flats: Payless || makeup by Gelianne Alba || photos: Patriscia B
Tomorrow isn't just about the couples and the lovers, it's about your family, friends and yourself as well. If you're single (or even if and more so if you are attached), try doing something for yourself cause YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Don't ever forget that. :)
PS. Remember last outfit post? I had an easy time changing into that cause I just wore this outfit underneath! Haha :-) #bloggertricks