On Settling Down


I'm posting this cause summer class ended and I wore this during the start of summer class. Ayayay! Since I now have nothing much to do, I'm trying to get rid of my backlogs haha

Recently, I found out that my best friend the year I studied pre-school at Ateneo was married. Then, when I had lunch with Ayessa, my best friend from that year in pre-school at Stella Maris (who took these photos by the way), we also ended up talking about her plans which involved marriage in maybe the next two years.  Hay kaloka! It was too much for me to process and I'm sorry but this topic really bothered me the whole day.

First of all, if it isn't obvious from my posts, I'm quite the feminist. Not super hardcore, but just enough to be empowered. Now that we've established that, let's move on to being empowered. To me, being empowered means knowing what you want, working to get it, and being independent. 

Second, because I know what I want, settling down any time soon isn't part of the picture. I want to travel, see the world, buy my own car and house, etc. All these dreams of mine have a deadline and although I hope that love will come one day, it won't hinder me from achieving these goals.

Somehow, I feel like in my conquest for equality with men ended up making me somehow think in their mindset. Why, are guys the only ones who can stay single til their 30's or 40's to chase after their elusive dream? There's been this notion that if women don't marry at a certain age, they are considered worthless (or something to that effect). Like my lola, she got married at 22. I am turning 22 this year and I don't even have a guy. Every time she calls, she kinda nags me to lose weight so "boys will like me". It's a very old kind of thinking but it exists til now.

 I do know people who want to settle down immediately but the thing is, it's not for me. I'm not saying it's bad because what if your dream's to be a housewife? But it's just simply not for me.

It's the same way I feel about women supposedly losing their value as they grow older. Well, if you're an empowered woman, you'll gain more value as you age. Take a look at JLo, the older she gets, the better. And the younger guys will want you, just like the older guys usually go for the younger-looking girls. (But the way I see it, some time after the guys get their fill of the girls, they'd want to be with a real woman. HAHA) 

A quote from my favorite Carrie Bradshaw:

“When it comes to relationships (among other things, could be work or love as well), maybe we’re all in glass houses, and shouldn’t throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”


"Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free, until they find someone just as wild to run with.”

 denim jacket: vintage
top: Suiteblanco
shoes: SM Parisian

What do you think?

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  1. Can I just say... I love love love this look.
    And imo, settling down at an early age isn't for the empowered and highly ambitious, like us. HAHA.

    So, I guess no moms among us till our late 20's at least, then? :))

    1. I KNOOOOW.

      Wow wooms! Thanks. Nyahaha It's manly and glam at the same time haha

    2. Maybe that's why I like it, the fact that it has that manly vibe. You know me... :))

  2. lovely :)
    there's no definite time for marriage. It takes place in the right time and with the right person.. :)

    1. I truly believe that!
      Thanks for visiting Em :)

  3. I just choked reading all those far! haha. One thing's for sure before I'll have that marriage license, I'll get first my driver's license. When will you be free?

    1. Why did you choke? HAHA. wait. I'll text ya :)

  4. OMG girl you are so very young to be thinking about that stuff. I know in the Philippines that a lot of people get married at younger ages and stuff but it's a lot more common now for people to get married at older ages. I am a lot older then you and most of my friends aren't even thinking of marriage because they all still want to do there own things, travel, succeed and so much more. I know how it is to have a family that asks why I'm not married and they always tell me that they don't want me to be a tandang dalaga(not sure if thats spelled right) But I always tell them that I need to work on me and I have a lot of dreams I want to accomplish before I even think of marriage. Btw very cute outfit and I don't stress about marriage. :p


  5. wow. brilliant. amazing. outstanding. nice one fari!

    as a fellow single lady in the midst of chasing her dream, i totally agree with everything. the great mother monster once said, "if you are conflicted between following your man and your dreams, know that your dreams will never wake up one day and tell you he doesn't love you anymore."

    this post made my day :D
    -ella g.

    1. Hey Ella G! Welcome to my blog! Haha. I didnt know you read it :)

      BTW, nice quote!



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