Behind the Sparkle


blazer: Forever 21
skirt: H&M (gift from my friend)
shoes: SM Parisian
bag: OASAP

The difference between a great person and an average one is the extra work they put into what they do--big or small.

Have you guys read the latest Preview featuring Camille Co, Laureen Uy and Tricia Gosingtian? I just bought a copy and I thought it was amazing how Preview entrusted the cover to 3 of our country's top fashion bloggers.  I mean, it changes things for bloggers in general! Next thing I know, it might be Cheys, Lissa or Vern (or anyone) else up there.

Anyway, I read their story and realized that unlike what I thought (that they were entitled to their fame and it's easy for them to be famous and fashionable because they are rich, etc), a lot of work actually goes into the blog post (and the blog) before the entries are published. Tricia mentioned that it takes her 3 hours to edit photos and write blog entries! THREE HOURS! Me, I just post when I feel like posting and write what I feel like writing and I can do that in less than an hour. I honestly could not be bothered to resize photos like Cheys does because it's time-consuming (and mostly because I don't know how) and often, I'm just too excited to post away before all inspiration runs dry, but in reality, these things actually do matter. These can contribute to a good blog.

Let me also connect this to something I realized lately.

Have you ever asked yourself if you uhh really, truly love yourself or your friends? Up until recently, I haven't because I was always so sure that I love myself (I mean, I'm at terms with my body on most days and I'm at ease with who I am most days) and I love my friends.

But this book Teen Idol by Meg Cabot made me rethink things. Jenny, the protagonist, was best friends with everybody. Everybody respected her and trusted her in their school. Sadly, the story was set in high school--the jocks made fun of her more unpopular friends but Jenny did not do anything for fear of offending someone. Lucas, a popular movie actor, came to their school disguised as an exchange student to research for his next movie role. Jenny was his student guide, as well as the only one who kept his identity secret. In the end, Lucas made her realize that she wasn't doing anyone favors by overlooking her friends' mistakes. She had to "effect social change" and tell them the bitter, cold, hard truth.

While I was reading this in my down time, I never thought I'd get insights out of it. I mean, it is chick lit. It's a guilty pleasure. But I realized that before Jenny told her friends the truth (back in her goody two shoes days), she also did not respect herself. Why? Because she held back her opinions as to not offend anyone. She forgot herself as she rushed to comfort someone crying in the loo. People just didn't try to even care about comforting someone because Jenny would be there. And when it was her turn to need someone? No one came to her aid.

Though I may appear self-centered, I actually do care about my friends a lot. I am the type of person to drop everything I'm doing to help my friends out. I am scared though that maybe, if and when the time comes that I need others' help and support, I might come up empty-handed. I am so scared of that that I think I sometimes people-please my way to others. At one point, we all are guilty of this--para wala lang masabi ang iba. 

But I realized it's not okay. I usually put myself last--behind work, school work, family duties, friend duties, etc. Some days, I can't even bother to wear something decent or put on make-up to look decent because I am afraid of getting late--and for what? To wait for the person I am meeting, who strides in 20 minutes later, looking great. BECAUSE THEY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. While I am and will always be dependable Farrah.

I thought dependable will pay off. So far, it hasn't, and I have to face the fact that maybe, it really won't. But, I don't want to be dependable Farrah anymore. (Heck I even had an outfit post entitled dependable about my what else--dependable clothes! Why, when they said personality reflected on clothing, I didn't know it was that literal!) Dependable feels like Kim Chiu in Paano Na Kaya to the point that she dressed in a stupid costume to play mascot to her best friend's surprise to the girl he's courting. Dependable, which is synonymous to "friend zone" and leads up to "door mat". I want to be the desired one, for a change. I don't want to be the girl behind the costume. I wanna be the one on the table with the flowers with someone dressing up in the silly costume to make me happy. I want to be waited on and waited for, not to be the one waiting for someone else. 

In relation to the first idea, you could say the same principle applies to blogging (and our other passions). We need to enrich them. We need to make time for ourselves-- basically stop what we need to do so we can do what we want to do. That doesn't mean being reckless and rebellious and forgetting your responsibilities, it just means sometimes, you need to focus on yourself too.

Make no mistake, I'm not angry (maybe impassioned and inspired). I guess when it comes down to it, all I'm saying is maybe if I (or you) took time to understand yourself, you'd consequently end up more self-assured. The genuine deal. Yes, it's the kind of assurance that shows you are at ease with yourself (no pretenses), the kind that pushes you to not be afraid to ask your friends to say, take your outfit shot, or tell them in all honesty that their boyfriend's a scum. If your friends were your real friends, they'd understand.



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